REFLECTING ON “MEDITATIONS FOR MORTALS”

I recently finished "Meditations for Mortals" by Oliver Burkeman and began to contemplate one of the larger themes of his book. The quote below summarizes that theme well.

You might easily never have been born, but fate granted you the opportunity to get stuck into the mess you see around you, whatever it is. You are here. This is it. You don’t much matter — yet you matter as much as anyone ever did. The river of time flows inexorably on; amazingly, confoundingly, marvelously, we get the brief chance to go kayaking in it.

As I finished this book yesterday I was struck by the relief I experienced by facing the truth that outside of a small community and family, no one will remember me. The idea that the most famous pastors, the ones I admire and look up to, would be unrecognized at the restaurant I ate at last night, was simultaneously eye opening, freeing, and sad.

This quote that I don’t much matter, yet I matter as much as any other person who has ever lived is intriguing. I know the Bible says all people have been created in the image of God, giving people worth. As a follower of Jesus, I have been promised adoption, that my name is written down in the lambs book of life, that Jesus knows the hairs of my head, that God would feed me because he cares for me so much more than the birds and flowers he cares for.

Yet, I struggle. I am constantly dreaming of being a well known preacher and author. I care what people think of me. I put difficult, and often impossible burdens on my shoulders. But what if I could let go of that, and truly believe that I can do nothing apart from Christ. That my joy hinges on my living sacrifice for God, that my fulfillment is attached to the Lord and His Word. God, I do not know how to let go but I can feel the desire bubbling up. Help Me! Give me what Keller calls the “freedom of self-forgetfulness.”

No one knows what the members of Daft Punk look like outside of a close circle, a few musicians and audio engineers. They wear motorcycle helmets. They can play a show in front of 20,000 people cheering for them, walk backstage and take off their helmets, then walk into the crowd and exit like everyone else without people knowing. Part of me applauds the humility, and part of me is screaming out at their missed opportunity of being recognized for their efforts.

What will be the true test of my life’s success? Even from a worldly perspective we usually agree: quality of relationships, lasting impact, memorable trips, accomplishments, etc. When I read the Bible, I see true success being tethered to God’s glory. If I glorify God in my relationships, they will be healthy. If I glorify God with my time, resources, and effort, then I will leave a lasting and eternal impact. Knowing that, why do I struggle to pick the burden back up? Apart from Christ I can do nothing, yet I daily act like I can do more than him alone or even worse, meagerly invite him to sign his name onto my plans.

My desire is to continue wrestling with this and allow the Lord to surgically remove my pride and sinful ambition, and replace it with the character of Christ. The man who was not ministering for fame, but for the glory of the Father who sent him. Jesus often said he only did what he saw his Father doing, only said what he heard his Father say. I want to and need to be like Jesus. To joyfully serve and be poured out for the sake of others with no anxiety about credit or earthly feedback.

6 Don’t work only while being watched, as people-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing God’s will from your heart. 7 Serve with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to people -Galatians 6:6-7

This passage was written to slaves, but I would do well to apply it. Paul was happy to be a bondservant, a slave to Christ, a slave to righteousness.

Lord Jesus, help me have your heart that only aimed to please the Father, not men.